Top Ten Ways to Make the Democratic Convention More Fun

Letterman

10-Offer John McCain $1 million if he correctly guesses how many homes he owns

9-Every night, one lucky lady gets to go home with John Edwards

8-In honor of party mascot, serve assortment of delicious donkey and mule treats

7-Each delegate gets a kitty, superdelegates get a super kitty!

6-Special appearance by the exhumed remains of Lyndon Johnson

5-Call the Pepsi Center something crazy like the Bird's Nest or the Water Cube

4-Give John Kerry's crazy wife five minutes to say whatever she wants -- remember her?

3-Kick things off with a song from Dennis Kucinich

2-Five words: hot volleyball babes in bikinis

1-Try to squeeze Al Gore into the same suit he wore at the 2000 convention